Spaghetti!
by OyNebach42
Summary: Anakin's old Spaghetti Allergy backfires, Making him addicted to pasta! This is his file from a support group, and his personal hand written testimony to his difficulty. Read, review, and enjoy. Last chapter up! Thank you to all who read or reviewed!
1. Step Ten

K this is my first Star Wars fic, … so if you like insanity and complete randomness, this is the story for you. Read, Review and Enjoy.

I own only… well…. I own something…maybe the spaghetti… The rest is not mine.

Spaghetti! 

Chapter One: Step Ten

Name: Anikan Skywalker

Species: Humanoid

Age: 20

Months in support group: two

Difficulty: Addiction

I feel kind of stupid writing this, I think the whole situation is stupid. But I didn't sign up for these classes. Step ten of the program; write a detailed historic description of your difficulty… I'm writing it. Historic all right, I don't plan to stretch the truth any.

Whose fault is all this? Naturally, I blame my Master, Obie Wan Kenobie. He's holding me back, I'm ready for the trials, I can pass any test he'd throw at me…Oh well, I won't get into that here. Padme was there when it happened, but it's not her fault, nothing's her fault. Am I to blame? No, not at all. Was I the one who preheated the macaroni noodles because I had forgotten my own lunch in the training hall? No. Was I the one who decided I needed help and signed me up for these classes? No. It was all Master; no one else could do so much to mess things up.

I guess I should start from the beginning, seeing how this is meant to be historical. It all started long ago… back on Tatoonie. At an early age, I developed a horrible allergic reaction to spaghetti. Yeah laugh, this is funny right? Well, you wait until you're the one with your eyes swelled shut, lying on the floor, and at death's door. From then on, I've always avoided pasta; any kind can do it, ravioli, lasagna, Mac and cheese, shell noodles… Well you get the picture. I did fine until one night a couple of months ago ago.

Padme and me hadn't gotten any time together in a long time… I mean a really long time. So when Master gave me a day off because of some council meeting I couldn't attend because guess what?! I'm still a padawan learner… where else would I go.

I rushed home as quickly as I could, cutting off some traffic, almost getting killed that sort of thing… Padme was happy to see me when I finally got there.

"Annie," she said, "you're back early."

"Yeah well, Master's at another council meeting, and since I'm still a padawan, I got the day off."

She smiled, "See Annie, I told you being a learner had its upsides."

Oh I have a question, is this paper going to be shown to anyone?! or will we get to burn and eat it? On file?! Okay but I won't be able to write so much… Yes I know I'm not supposed to keep anything inside…Don't you have better things to do then stand here and read over my shoulder?! Yeash! Councilors, almost as bad as Masters if you can believe it.

Now where was I? Oh yeah, so me and my **good friend** Padme, decided we needed to do something together to remember old times. "Why not eat out?" I asked.

"Where at?" Padme wanted to know, "there aren't very many good eating places around here."

"What about that pizza place? What's it called, 'The Floppy Disk'?"

Padme doesn't like pizza, but I had forgotten. "Annie, I don't like pizza, especially not the way the 'Floppy Disk' makes it."

"Why not?"

"I wouldn't mind it so much if there everything pizza didn't have Wookie hair on it."

I nodded "I guess your right, so what are you in the mood for?"

She thought for a minuet, now I could handle just about anything, but what Padme said then almost blew me away. " Spaghetti."

I didn't know what to do… I would have felt like an idiot telling her I was allergic to spaghetti. So I didn't. "Okay," I said, "sounds good to me." If I would have known all the trouble it was going to cause I would have stayed home…and said I was sick. But I wasn't sick… not yet anyway.


	2. You can get anything you want

Note unto the text: This chapter is very long to make up for last times short one. I must apologize for my ill spelling, you don't know how many English test I've failed because of it. My teachers all say the same thing, "you write good, but we need to work on spelling and grammar." Then they give me the dyslexia test…. I don't know how it happened but once it was negative and once it was positive. I don't know maybe I'm half and half, depends on what day you catch me in. Some days I can't tell my right from my left and wonder which way a 'p' goes and get it mixed up with 'b' somehow, and others I have no troubles at all. Speaking of troubles, it's time I shut up my bellyaching and let someone with real problems take the wheel. Anakin, the audience is waiting…..

Chapter Two: You Can Get Anything That You Want, At Alice's Restaurant 

While Padme went to get ready, I sat down to think. There wasn't much I could do…. Besides leaving without her and since, **We're really good friends, **that was not an option. Now I remembered something, usually spaghetti restraints serve something else aside from pasta. Like bread sticks, and salad…….. I was going to die. Try filling your appetite on those diet foods, you'll see.

Master had told me something that may come in handy. I thought it would anyway. There is a way through using the force that you can change the midiclorine state in a thing in order to eat poison, if you want to, and stuff like that. So I'm thinking maybe it works on pasta too. I was saved!

Oh and just a side note, this kind of force power had never been executed. Every year many a Jedi dies trying to impress others at dinner parties by drinking poison. Not even Master Yoda could accomplish it…But why should I worry?! I'm the greatest Jedi who ever lived, Palpitine told me so.

Before I knew it Padme was back……skip out details…..uh hu……hum….Anyway we went to the speeder and were off. It took a while to get there, thank the force, so I had a chance to devise a plan. Not to complex really…. distracting Padme while I used a couple of force powers and then, presto! I can eat spaghetti to my heart's content.

All this time Padme had been talking, and talking, and talking, the way she always does when ever we're together. Not that you should take a hint or anything Master. And I wasn't lessoning, or lessoning, or lessoning, to anything she said. It was all gossip mostly.

We arrived at the restaurant. "So anyway," Padme was saying, "I knew she wasn't telling the truth, because Shish Kabob has been my handmaiden for so long I can tell when she lies…." I nodded absently and parallel parked. Not an easy job with someone like Padme, chattering away in your ear, but I'm a professional.

"We're here." I told her.

She unbuckled her seat belt, "you haven't been lessoning to a word I said, have you, Annie?"

Why does she always ask me that?! Especially when she knows the answer?! "Sure I was lessoning, you were telling me about….uh….about…."

"I didn't think so." Padme announced quietly. I hate it when she says things like that!

The restaurant was almost full when we walked in; all the tables had little paper cards on them. But we found a spot, and I ripped up the number sitting on top. I helped Padme sit down, but before I could do the same, a waiter pulled me over.

"Excuse me sir," he told me, "but this table is reserved."

I nodded. "Yeah, and with all the money I'm paying for it you'd think they would have given me one with a view."

The waiter narrowed his eyes spaciously, "What is your name, sir?"

"Skywalker." I called, as if it was a well-known name.

The man looked through a data pad. "No sir I think you are mistaken, this table is reserved for a mister-"

I cut him off. "This is my table," I said waving my fingers before his face, "There's a mistake in your files, the name is meant to be 'Skywalker' and this table is to have round the clock personal service."

"Forgive me Sir!" He said apologetically, "This is your table, there's a mistake in the files the name is Skywalker and I'll have some of my best men give you round the clock personal service."

I smiled; sometimes being a Jedi was fun.

As the waiter rushed away, Padme shot me an angry look from the other side of the table. "I can't believe you just did that!" She called.

"Did what?!" I smiled. "There was a mistake in his files…"

"You tricked him! Annie, I thought you weren't supposed to use a power unless you were in combat!"

I frowned, "Come on Padme it's just the way I make reservations. It doesn't hurt them any. Just fun."

"Next time, you're calling in the reservation like everyone else."

"Alright." I promised. A couple of waiters ran up to our table, carrying menus and some breadsticks. Oh yeah, it was relaxing time. At least, until the spaghetti came.

I glanced at the menu, and almost had a panic attack. Just reading the names of the pasta dishes was enough. My breathing came out in labored gust and sweat slid down my forehead.

"Anakin?" Padme asked concerned, "are you alright?!"

Forcing myself to recover, I took a shaky breath. "Fine."

"Aren't you going to order?" She asked. Then I noticed a waiter standing over my shoulder, pen and pad readily at hand.

"Yeah…I…uh.." I glanced over at Padme, "What would you like?" I wondered.

"I think I'd like a salad, with a Pasta Platter side dish."

I turned back to the waiter. "She'll take one of those, and for my order just reverse hers." I wasn't going to take any chances saying the spaghetti dish's name.

"Right away sir. Oh, and sir, what would you care to drink?"

"How's some red wine?"

"Very well sir, your order should be ready in a moment." He ran off, mind tricks pay off, most of the time.

My hands started shaking, I tried to steady them. Don't worry I assured myself, you're the greatest Jedi, you won't be laying on the floor with you eyes swollen shut not able to get your breath. No, you'll be fine. I took a sip of water to steady my nerves, and noticed Padme was staring at me.

"You're sure you're fine, Annie?"

"Sure I'm sure." I glanced over at the kitchen. Waiters pushed their way out of the double doors carrying trays of pasta. I wondered if one of them was bringing my doom.

"Here you are sir," A voice next to me called. With horror I turned to look at the waiter, but to my relief there was nothing more in his hands then a wine bottle and some glasses. That was a close one.

"Your wine is here, sir." The waiter called.

"Uh…good. Pour some." I commanded, craning my neck to see the kitchen better.

The waiter hesitated, "Would you care to sniff the cap, sir?"

"Sure," Whatever. I took the cork in my hand and sniffed it, then I noticed my mistake, the wine bottle had been stored next to noodles. Next thing I knew I was gagging and coughing, struggling to regain my breath. The waiter pounded my back. And Padme ran to my side. After a while, I managed to get some oxygen.

I'd made a spectacle out of myself; all sound in the restaurant had stopped. Hundreds of eyes rested on me…Oh force.

I moaned bitterly. Time for smart thinking, "Poison…" I croaked out. "The red wine is laced with poisons."

Curses in every langue imaginable split the silence, fallowed by a heavy spatter as dozens of wine bottles were spilt onto the floor. The broken glass all over assured that no one would walk barefoot in this restaurant for a long time. Many a table of guest got up and left right then. I tried to hide my triumphant smile. Mission accomplished.

"I am so sorry, sir." The waiter called as he backed slowly into the kitchen. "This has never happened before….." He dashed inside the swinging doors.

Padme rested her hand on my shoulder. "Are you alright, Annie?" She asked. Before I could respond, she continued. "Come on let's leave, there's an assassin here somewhere." Ever since last year when **anything** happens, Padme thinks its assassins.

I chuckled and poured some wine in my glass. "Did you see the look on that waiter's face?!" I broke off into laughter. Bad move.

"Anakin Skywalker!" Padme called slapping my shoulder angrily. "That was just one of your tricks wasn't it! You scared me half to death!"

Regret filled me. But I couldn't say the truth about my allergy. "Oh come on Padme!" I pleaded, "I was just joking."

"You're always joking!"

Skip that part…..Skip….leave it out. Just know we're still **good friends**.

The chief personally came out from the back to apologize, I told him it was no big deal and when I assured him that I would not sue him, he blessed me.

"Don't worry," the cook told me "Your meals will be entirely free mister Skywalker."

"Free of poison?" I asked counseling a grin.

"Yes, yes of course but also free of charge."

The smile came out now. "Thank you."

Concerning the title: It's the name of a good, long, long country song. You can get anything that you want at Alice's restaurant. Eighteen minuets long, I think. This is a long chapter so…..


	3. A Bite From The Forbidden Food

Thank you to my two reviewers! Your reviews are deeply appreciated.

Important: don't read this if you feel sick! You'll see why later. Oh boy, I just went to a used bookstore and bought 20 dollars worth of books! Used mind you, so they were about 5 dollars each. I guess you can tell someone's a reader. But my love for books is nowhere near Anakin's love for spaghetti, as we shall soon see.

Chapter Three: A Bite From The Forbidden Food

Maybe the whole poison trick was a bad thing, because the waiters really hurried to bring us our food. I whish they would have slowed down. Before I could protest there was a tray of food in front of me. Nimbly, and took hold of a fork and watched breathlessly as the lid was removed. Please let it be pizza! I prayed. I'd even eat a double topping of Wookie hair to get out of this one. But it wasn't. A large bowl of pasta gazed up at me, smiling evilly with its meatball eyes. I almost started coughing again, and just barely moved my head in time to avoid the rising pillar of steam.

"Aren't you going to eat, Annie?" Padme asked.

Time for yet another trick, I looked at her to as if to smile, but what I let on to notice behind her took all the joy out of everything. "Not so loud," I warned, " I think that's Obi Wan's behind you!"

As she turned to see I quickly waved my hand over the spaghetti muttered a couple of payers and dipped my fork into the forbidden food.

Padme whirled back around urgently, "it is him, Annie!" she whispered, "hide quick!" I was so surprised I didn't know what to do, Master wasn't supposed to be here! He was supposed to be in a council meeting…can't he do **anything** right?! Maybe Padme knew and was just trying to trick me back, "he's coming, Annie," she called, "hide now!"

I slipped under the table. Just as I pulled the last of my cloak beneath the tablecloth, I heard a voice say: "Senator Amidalla, what a surprise to see you here." Curse him! Curse him! Curse him!

"Hello Obi Wan," Padme said loudly to make sure I knew who it was.

"I thought I'd find Anakin here, Have you seen him?" How did he know where I was?! He continued to let me know. "His speeder was parked outside."

"No I haven't seen him," Padme answered, "You may want to try the upstairs." Hint, Hint, get lost! No offence if you're reading this now Master.

"Maybe," Obi Wan muttered, "Oh I'm sorry, were you dining with someone?" Yes, she was, and you'd better leave.

"No that's just left over from the last person who used this table. The waiters aren't the best at cleaning up." Padme, Padme, Padme, Why?

"It's odd for someone to leave a whole plate of spaghetti," Obi Wan remarked, as he sat down, "It doesn't look like its been touched." Don't you dare touch my food, master, don't you dare!

"Um," he said, voice muffled from talking with a full mouth. "Pasta Platter, my favorite." My anger flared. Ladies and Gentlemen, This right here is the answer to how a Jedi can hate his 'brother'. "Hum…this taste is different, almost," chewing sounds fallowed, "almost powerful." No duh! It's got force all over it!

Padme frowned "Mine just taste like noodles…. you don't think yours could be poisoned do you?"

A rough gagging sound fallowed, and I saw something white and slimy land by my hand. Hack it up, Master. It was his turn to make a fool of himself: I was enjoying this.

"Good force! Waiter what are you trying to sever me!!!! These noodles are toxic!"

More gagging, whiter slimier things fell to the floor. Waiters rushed in from every direction, screaming helpful things like: "Not again," and "Someone get a mop!" I tried to stifle my laughter, while dodging the sick things.

"Good Heavens," one of the waiters called, thinking Master was me, "the noodles made you age mister Sky-" I bit his leg before he could finish.

It goes without saying that Master left then. He was fully reimbursed for the food he ate, which because he didn't order it, and it hadn't cost me anything to begin with, was nothing.

I came up from under the table and noticed Padme looked a little pale. "You feel o.k.?" I asked.

"Annie, I know you think I'm paranoid…."

"There are no assassins!" I said, "I did that myself to chase him away… It worked well too."

"Oh grow up, Anakin!"

"You'd like that, would you?"

Skip…. Skip…Pass…. no comment… We're still **good friends**.

We took up eating again. I raised my fork cautiously. Master germs. I would have asked for a new one, but I didn't know how long the force power lasted. Carefully I raised some noodles to my mouth, my throat threatened to close…Oh force please no!

I ate a bite, nothing happened. In fact, I felt better then I'd felt in years. A great weight was lifted off my shoulders! It didn't matter that the trials weren't happening yet. It didn't matter that me and Padme couldn't…skip…skip…skip. Nothing mattered. Then as suddenly as the wonderful sensation had come, it stopped.

I wanted to feel it again, I ate another bite, and there it was the feeling of peace. Closing my eyes, I savored the moment. I breathed in quick eager breaths, raising another bite and another. I started smiling; the world was a much brighter place.

When my plate was entirely finished, I looked over at Padme smiling like a fool.

"What?" She asked, "Is there something on my face?"

The End. Oh mister Jones, I'm done! What?! What do you mean it's not complete? Cliffhanger?! I don't care…. No all details…sigh…you really make things hard on a Jedi. Yes, sir I'll add more. There you heard it from the man himself, if I had my way this whole part wouldn't be in here…. Blame Mister Jones!

"You're pretty." I answered. Master if you haven't guessed it yet, there's something wrong with you, really.

"What?" Padme asked caught off balance.

"You're pretty." I replied.

Padme seemed uncomfortable, "Annie," she said, "You're drunk."

I laughed, "I'm not drunk." I answered, "There's not a man alive who can hold licker like me. I'm a Jedi, remember?! And I think you're pretty."

Not believing, she looked at my glass. It was full. "Annie, are you alright?"

How many times had I answered that question tonight! "I'm fine," I announced leaning my elbows on the table and resting my chin in my hands. "Did I ever tell you how pretty you are?"

She still did not understand. "Ok, thank you." She called worriedly.

"Why are you frowning? You're supposed to be happy tonight. Tonight's my day off, you're always happy when I'm off." I took a large gulp of wine.

"I don't think you should drink anymore wine, Anakin." Padme said softly.

"Why? 'Cause you think I'm drunk…I'm not drunk…. Do you know how pretty you are?"

Padme stood up, "I think we should go home."

"But you're not done eating!" I protested, "you just sit down and finish eating and then I'll drive us home."

"It's alright, I'll have it put in a doggie bag for later." She beckoned to a waiter standing nearby. "I'd like this food put in a take home bag…." And she added in a whisper. "Could I also have a mug of your darkest coffee? Thank you."

All right, I think my ego has taken enough of a beating for one day… You may hear the rest later…Maybe.


	4. Clean Up On Isle 6!

Thank you to my new reviewer!

I'm starting to think maybe I'm a little addicted to this story… I've never written one this fast before…. Good force! I don't own the title of Alice's restaurant. A similar thing like this first incident happened to me when I got some teeth pulled, laughing gas makes you high! Oh, the name Pashoot Zal is actually the name of a store over here. Anyway, let's see how things are going with Annie, but I most warn you, his problem only gets worse.

Chapter Four: Clean Up On Isle Six! 

Padme gave me the coffee mug, and told me to drink it. I did and started slowly coming back to my senses. Oh, force! I hadn't had the trials yet! My problems were all back. I despise coffee.

"Come on," Padme said guiding me to the door, "let's go."

Suddenly I was myself again, cursing pasta with all my soul. "It's alright Padme," I mumbled, "I'm not drunk."

She wasn't convinced. "Watch the stairs, Annie!" She warned unnecessarily, I made my way down them easily.

"See," I pointed out, "I'm not drunk." I don't what to tell you what happened then, but just know my head came **this** close to getting taken off by a passing speeder. O.K, so maybe I wasn't 100 yet, but I wasn't drunk. Padme didn't let me cross the street alone. Not that I minded… Skip…Skip… Skip… Just remember I was not in my senses when I said that about something being wrong with you, Master. You know like you are most of the time.

"I think maybe I should drive, Annie." Padme announced when we got to the speeder.

I wouldn't hear of it. "No, I can drive," I mumbled opening the speeder door, "I'm not drunk you know."

Padme sighed, "I know, Annie. Couldn't you at least put it on auto pilot?"

I looked at her face; it was shadowed in fear and concern. "Alright, but it will take longer to get back."

"I don't care."

So I let the speeder take care of flying itself. With nothing else to do I glanced out the window, the city's bright lights zoomed by bellow, colorful smears against the black void. I looked over at Padme. She was frowning.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

She lowered her gaze, "nothing, it's just…Well, we set out to have a nice time…and…"

"I'm not drunk!"

"No its not that, it's just, well, sometimes I wish the Jedi council knew…. But I guess that would only make things worse…."

"Obi Wan is very annoying… He does butt in a lot, but what I can I say, he's my Master." Sorry Master, but we were talking about how much we wished the council knew what you were really like. : )

Later the next day.

I was over at Padme's because she thought there was someone else out to get her, just in case you were wondering Master… Anyway, I woke up and being such a good padawan the first thing I did was call Master. If an answering machine picked up, I was in trouble, and he was already waiting for me for training. But I had a feeling he wasn't.

It rang three times and then the machine picked up, "Hello you have reached the voice mail of….Obi Wan Kanobi, the user is not here right now, please leave a massage after the peep and may the force be with you. If this is an urgent call, please push one now." I pressed one.

His comlink started buzzing… Oh joy, he was at the training room.

"Hello," a voice on the other end said groggily.

I cursed angrily under my breath. "Hey master, this is Anakin, I guess you're wondering why I'm not at training now…"

"Not really…I'm not either."

"Really?" That was good news.

"Yes I'm afraid I received a dose of food poisoning yesterday. I'm still not feeling so well…" I can't believe it took me ten years to think up that one!

"So there's no training?" I asked hopefully.

I heard a nose blow over the other line. "I should really have you go train with another master, maybe Master Windo…"

"No!" I screamed over the line, "Master you can't do this to me! You know the way he is…I'll be relearning Jedi history for hours!"

Obi Wan sighed, "I'll admit he is a little historical…"

"A little!? Last time he subbed me I had to reenact the whole first council meeting!"

"Alright Anakin," Obi wan agreed, "I don't feel well and I'm in no mood to argue with you…. Take the day off…"

"You mean it?"

"Yes, just keep out of trouble. I don't want my reputation ruined as well as my health."

"You can count on me Master." I assured him and quickly terminated the link before he changed his mind. Oh yeah things don't get much better than this, two whole days without one training session!

Just then, Padme came out from the bedroom. Skip…. skip…skip… Note that she was happy I was staying home another day. "That's wonderful Annie," She said, "because I was going to have to buy some things at the store, but now that you're here…"

"We can go together?" I asked wishfully.

She shook her head, "I have a meeting today, so I was wondering if you'd go for me."

I sighed, "Alright." What were no longer needed guardians for after all?

"Thanks Annie," Padme smiled, I could tell she forgave me for acting like a fool last night. "I have to run know, the meeting starts in half and hour. The grocery list is on the table…Bye." Skip it… and then she left.

Well, I had nothing better to do then go… Let's face it… There's nothing to do on a second day off if they're in a row. If there's no one to be with and nothing exciting going on you might as well go to training. But shopping and being bored is better than having Mace Windo teach you and being bored. So I stayed.

I picked up the list off of the table and glanced at it, not much… Tea, Ketchup, Corn, TP… A couple of other small things, and then on the last row, underlined was Spaghetti.

Did I mention before that I am allergic to pasta?! I believe so, but Padme didn't know. I prayed it wasn't going to be tonight's dinner and left.

The supermarket or Pashoot Zal, named after its owner, was located not too far away. It only took me a short ride to get there, pity. I got out and just managed to grab the last cart, talk about Thursday madness. I unlocked it with a five-credit piece and started into the store.

You almost need a map to find your way through the place, nothing is where you'd expect it to be. I almost had to ask one of the cashers where to find the TP, guess what it was on the laundry soap isle!

The next isle had the Spaghetti; I glanced at it cautiously and kept as far away from it as possible. Padme had only written Spaghetti on the list, I wondered what kind she wanted. Shell? Long? Twisty? I looked for the smallest packet I could find, which happened to be 200 pieces.

All of the sudden, for some unknown reason, I wanted to eat dry spaghetti. Yeah I know I'm crazy…Dry Pasta? To tell you the truth it taste better raw. Not only did I want to eat the forbidden food, but I wanted it now. Shoplifting? Oh yeah.

I opened up the packet, and after a couple waves of my hand, I started crunching. I was hooked. I was disappointed, only a few bites, some good feelings, and the bag was gone. No big deal, there were hundreds more. I stress the word were.

Shoppers tried to turn down my isle, but when they saw me gulping down shell noodles, I'm afraid I scared most of them away… I was possessed. _Wait! _The Jedi half of me that Master had worked so hard to build up called, _this is most likely a Sith trick! They're using spaghetti to lure you to the Dark Side! _

_Yeah right! _My hard-core self snorted. _Anyway, if this is what Sith get to eat, why not join up? _

I was in a bad spot… Unable to control myself, stuck in a supermarket, and almost out of Pasta.

"Hey You!" A voice called from the end of the isle, disturbing me from opening the last bag of spaghetti. "What do you think you're doing?"

It was Pashoot himself, coming my way in his usual gruff manner. Some security guards fallowed closely behind. Things were about to take a down turn.

When I didn't respond, the guards moved forward and unsheathed flat buzz batons. Idiots. I summoned my force power, determined to defeat these baboons who would dare take my pasta from me. Suddenly I found I could not sommon my powers!

I tried again but nothing happened, the guards were moving closer….I desperately attempted to grasp onto any power…None came. Oh force!

Suddenly Master's voice came to mind, smug and annoying "Anakin, there are only two things capable of stripping a jedi of his force, extreme pain, and narcotics…"

There was no pain; I had never felt this well in my life…Narcotics. Pasta!? What kind of-?

"I'm not going to tell you again, boy." One of the guards said, "Drop the pasta and put your hands in the air."

What could I do? What would you do if you were in my place? Fight? I didn't, I couldn't really, as Master always tells me it will one of these days, my brain went to mush. I crammed the last of the noodles into my mouth and raised both hands above my head.

"Mease," I wailed, bits of pasta falling from my full mouth, "Ah mush meend ta mauf ah mall." ( If any reader can guess what that is I will be amazed, tell me how would a drugged out padawan with a mouth full of pasta talk: )

One of the guards looked quizzically at his partner. "What the Mustafar did that boy just say, Nick?"

The other shrugged, "Haven't the foggiest, we best put him to sleep and bring him in back…"

I closed my eyes savoring the feeling of security the spaghetti brought to my ever-aching soul. Then my body tingled as bolts of high voltage rippled over my spine. I gasp, the sudden opening of my windpipe causing me to choke on my half chewed pasta. And I fell to the floor, unable to breath, and everything went black.


	5. The Invite

I would like to start this off by thanking my reviewers. Next, I must apologize for my long absence, I was having a bit of writes block, I think I've recovered now. Moving right along, I must regret to inform you that I made a typo error that was so bad I noticed it! "Suddenly Master's voice came to mind, smug and annoying "Anakin, there are only two things capable of stripping a jedi of his force, extreme pain, and narcotics…" It is meant to be… there are only two things capable of stripping a Jedi of his force. (Or maybe a ':' I don't know) Extreme pain and narcotics…"-Sorry about that one. Now to continue with the narrative I will call on a man you all know for his difficulties, Anakin Skywalker!

Chapter Five: The Invite 

When I awoke, the whole world was fuzzy. What appeared to be a brown bearded face was hovering over me. "Master?" I asked in a rough breath, while blinking hard.

"Anakin!" Obi Wan called, "thank the force you're alright."

With a harsh cough, I sat up. Master was bending down next to me and I was the floor. "What happened?" Play innocent until it's more profitable to do otherwise.

"I'd like to know the same thing." Obi Wan muttered, becoming angry mentor again. Sigh.

"I can tell you what happened," a voice called from behind Master, it was Pashoot. "That boy, shoplifted!" An index finger was thrust my way.

Obi Wan shot me a disappointed glance, and I shook my head. "What did he take?" Thanks a lot for believing in me, Master.

"He didn't take it exactly, more likely ate it!" The large being muttered, not so happily.

Master turned towards me again, still no. "What did he eat?"

"All my pasta!"

"Did not!" I roared, standing up, I wasn't about to take this lying down.

The head being snorted, "Yes you did, you stupid glutton! You can see it on the floor, wrappers and half eaten noodles everywhere!"

"I think you're the dumb one, mouthing off that way to a Jedi. Not to mention the most powerful Jedi who's ever lived!" My anger was up. I laid back my ears and squinted dangerously. Pashoot snarled and gnashed his tombstone teeth. Master stepped between us. He was still recovering from food poisoning and in no mood to watch a fight, pity.

"How much would it cost to compensate for the damages?" Obi Wan asked.

Pashoot whipped a calculator from some where in the dark reassesses of the back of his pants. "Let's see, that's a week's shipment of pasta," he punched in a five figure number, "and the cost to have employees clean it up," a huge sum of money was added, "and when you figure all the customers who left when they saw the pig chowing down…" I resisted the desire to slice him in two as the headman pushed the equals sign. "That's about it," he passed the calculator to Master. Obi Wan remembered from where it came and merely glanced at the number.

"GOOD FORCE!!!!" He shouted leaping back four feet, "you can't be serious!"

"O.k. so maybe it's a bit more…"

Master looked very pale. He ran a hand over his face in despair. Ha, Ha, who wouldn't love seeing their mentor at his wits end: ) "Can you charge that to my account?" He asked hoarsely.

"Why Sure! But it has an 34 point nine interest rite."

"I don't care, lesson my name is Yoda and my pen number is two, three, nine, six, one, O, got it?"

"Will do Mister Yoda! Bring that friend of yours back anytime." and he left typing things in on his calculator and chuckling.

I was in a state of shock. "Master!" I cried out, "You did not just charge something onto Master Yoda's account! Why what should ever happen if the council found out?" All right, so maybe I didn't say it that nicely, but you get the picture.

"The council won't find out," Obi Wan announced, "because if you tell them, I just might happen to mention that little incident on your last mission." Blackmailer! Dirty rotten blackmailer! My last mission, after guarding Padme, was to protect the secret about Mace Windu's surprise birthday party. Which I mistakenly told Yoda, and Yoda and Windu are tight like this… No one ever traced it back to me…Not yet at least.

We left the store; I didn't buy any of Padme's groceries. Being too worried that I would end up killing Pashoot Zal, if I saw him, and that is not a very Jedi like thing to do. I try sometimes. If anyone out there wants to try they'll see, it's not easy being cheesy.

"Did you really do it?" Obi Wan asked as soon as we where in the speeder.

I sighed. Just how dense can a person be? "No Master, I did not just pig out on spaghetti, I don't remember doing any of it."

'No, I mean that whole business with Master Windu's birthday, were you really the one who spilled the beans?" Honestly, sometimes Master! See what I have to deal with?!

"Yeah that was me," I muttered darkly pulling the speeder into the airway.

He smiled and shook his head. "When Master Windu pretended to be surprised even though he wasn't, that picture was worth a thousand words."

Something was bothering me, as it should have bothered you for quiet sometime. "How'd you get out here, Master? How'd you know I was at the store?"

Obi Wan's smile deepened, "synced it. You must have been in extreme pain, because I kept getting the feeling that you couldn't wield the force."

I forced a chuckle, "yeah I was in some pain, ha, ha, ha."

"Watch out Anakin! You're about to hit that speeder!"

I slammed on the brakes and came to a halt right before a green craft. "Watch where you're going moron!" I roared setting the speeder in reverse.

"Moron think you I am?" A voice asked from the speeder. Oh joy, I'd just mouthed off to Jedi Master Yoda. So much for taking the trials this year.

"Oh Master Yoda, I'm sorry, I forgot you'd had your speeder repainted." Tell him nothing of the pasta! The good thing about Master Yoda is that he wears goggles, when he drives which he can hardly see through. If you can get away before he recognizes you, you're in luck. If not well, how does doing his laundry for a week sound?

"Young Padawan Anakin is that?!" Oh crud.

I cleared my throat. "Uh, yeah. How are you Master Yoda?" Change the subject quick!

"Um…Changing the subject we are? Master Obi Wan with you he is?"

Master answered for himself, "I'm here Master Yoda."

"Let your padawan drive recklessly you do?"

"Not usually, where are you off to, Yoda?" See I'm not the only one who doesn't like to be rebuked.

"Shopping to do, Much food to buy. Coming to diner party are you?" No another one! Master Yoda is always throwing these boring, useless, diner parties!

"This is the first I ever heard of it, Master Yoda." How could you Master! Now we're going to be invited.

Yoda nodded. "Forget do I, sick you were Obi Wan today, announce at training hall I did. Um, two days from now, party I have, want to come do you?"

Say no Master, I'll give you candy! "We'd love to Master Yoda." No candy for you. "Wouldn't we Anakin?"

"Yes Master," I muttered giving Obi Wan a dirty look, which hopefully, Master Yoda couldn't see. My fate was sealed, this time two days from now I'd be bored to force sitting at a dinner party and lessoning to Mace and Yoda schmooze! Some future to look forward to, hu?


	6. Lunch With Windu

Right everyone, this is the next chapter of my story. I would like to thank all my reviewers. And wish all my Jewish readers a happy 8th day of Chanukah! When trying to picture the Potato, if any of you have younger siblings who watch Jo Jo's circus, there's a potato on there, that looks just like Potato.

The end is drawing near... I can only stretch this out so far… But let us only dwell on the positive. Anakin is here, he's waiting his turn not so patiently, I guess I had better let him take over…

Chapter Six: Lunch With Windu

I had training the next day, shoot. Just when I had to go back, suddenly wonderful ideas came to me on how I could spend another day off. Sigh. Doesn't that always happen?!

When I got up, Padme had left early. She had another meeting. My lunch was on the table with a large white note tacked to it. _'Dear Anakin,_' it read, _'I'm leaving early because I couldn't sleep. Your pager was on full blast and I'm surprised it didn't wake you up. Obi Wan has been trying to get in contact with you for a while, so I think you're late. Here's you lunch. Have a good day, skip, skip, skip, Padme.'_

So that was it, I'd slept through a whole morning of Master calling me. That meant training had started some time ago, and as usual, I was late. People always get really mad at Master when I'm late. I try to get up on time, occasionally. Am a good padawan, sometimes, and listen to my elders, almost never. So see, it's not like I'm some kind of jerk, I mean I'm one of the most well mannered, punctual, well behaved students the Jedi temple has.

But not everyone can see past their nose. Master for example, if he'd just glance out of his own fish bowl, every once in a while, he'd see that I'm ready for the trials. He'd also see how lucky he is to have me for a padawan. Most aren't so lucky, they have students from different species. Like Mace Windu, his main padawan now is Potato, a life form that looks just like a giant potato.

Potato is my rival and arch nemesis, he's the one who gets all the awards, all the Masters say he'll be very powerful one day, and worst of the worst he's taking his trials today. Sigh. O.K. three reasons why I'm better than Potato, number one: He'll be powerful one day alright, but everyone forgets I'm powerful now. You know why he's taking the trials today? Not because he's ready, no. It's because everyone feels sorry for him because he's a giant potato! On the other hand, I'm ready for the trials, but no one notices. I've told them countless times myself, but they never listen. Hello people! You think I may be ready! People! So the last reason is… uh… that I uh… that I… that I don't smell like a potato! Yeah that's it.

I got to the temple as the door was closing. Good timing, I managed to squeeze in without setting off the main alarms. Every day the temple has an automatic door close at nine, you miss it and you might as well stay home. No amount of banging or buzzing the office will get you in.

Most people don't know this, but in the temple we have time cards. Yeah I know what you're thinking, that's so out dated. Well, maybe it is, but Jedi Masters live in the past.

Each Jedi and Padawan has a small white card that you have to punch each day when you come in and each night when you go out. That way they can find out whose sick, or whose late. It would be easier if they just asked Master Yoda, because he is the gossip hog in the council. He even has a newsletter he puts out every other week called "Jedi Today" which is nothing but a pack of lies he makes up. Like one week they had this article called "Marry Padme, Anakin did." Which is **such** a lie Master.

I'm getting off the subject, I punched my card and went into the training field. Master was standing just inside the door with his arms crossed. Oh crud. "You're late again, Anakin."

"Uh, yeah, see there was this traffic jam and a whole lot of people crossing the road at once.. oh and this shopping mall exploded so I had to stop and rescue all the survivors. So that's why I'm late." I was a long shot, but you never know with Master.

Obi Wan cleared his throat. "I'd like the truth today, Anakin."

"Well, I woke up late."

Master frowned. "I would say don't let it happen again. But I know you will."

Crash and burn! Like that hurt, yeah right. So me and Master started training, and he was teaching me things I'd learned over twelve years ago like he always does, and I was trying to tell him I knew it, but it's imposable to get through to Obi Wan Kenobi.

Then after four hours of sheer nothingness we took a break for lunch. I like lunch, it's my favorite time of day. No I take that back, leaving the temple is my favorite time of day.

I took out my lunch Padme had packed and got ready to chow down. A peanut butter and banana sandwich, almost as good as baloney and whipped cream.

During lunch break, the Masters bring out tables from the next room and set them up, while the Padawans get the chairs. A padawan eats with his master, as the Jedi code orders. Sometimes they have a thing were two masters eat together with their Padawans, like today.

Today me and master had the pleasure of dining with Mace Windu and his apprentice Potato. I was so mad! I hate Potato, I hate Potato, I hate Potato!

Mace pulled his table over by masters and the Potato pulled up a chair next to me. Oh the other annoying things about Potato are, he doesn't know I hate him, wants to be my friend and worse of all doesn't talk. His race the Baked Spuds communicate trough radio waves.. and all wear tin foil hats in order to enhance their reception.

"Hello Mace." Master called as he sat down. "How are you and Potato today?"

"Just fine thank you, and do you know my Padawan started to complete the trails today? Right after lunch I'm giving him the written exam."

A cross from me the Potato smiled proudly. I frowned. I hate the Potato!

Master kept talking, "that's wonderful, Mace. I hope Anakin will be ready for them soon, I highly doubt it though."

"Hello Master! I'm right here! You don't have to talk about me in third person!"

Of course, Obi Wan didn't hear me. He felt around in his cloak and glanced about him franticly. "I've forgot my lunch."

"Maybe you should try the council, Obi Wan." Mace suggested.

There's a rule at the training field, if one forgets his lunch they can pick a readily prepared meal from the council lunch hall and reheat it in the small, silver, oven like thing that you can reheat stuff in. Know to all as the Microwave. Usually the meals sponsored by the council weren't worth the paper plates they were served on. Wokie hair pizza, chocolate smear sandwiches on which the chocolate doesn't look like chocolate, gooey soup, and the last most dreaded of all, the pink noodles. Dun, Dun, Dun.

The reason the noodles are so dreaded is because no one knows why they're pink. There's at least a dozen rumors jumping around, and none of them are very pleasant. All anyone knows is to beware the noodles.

So Master left. "I hope I get there in time for something good." He called force jumping into the elevator.

While he was gone, the Potato was trying to talk to me, but since he talks in radio waves, I couldn't understand any of it. "Beep, Beep, Squittle, Snap!" Went the noises from its tinfoil hat.

I rolled my eyes and took a bite of my sandwich. Master Windu was trying to make friendly conversation with me and Potato. I wasn't in the mood.

"So Anakin," he said, "how's your training coming?"

I bit off a hunk of peanut butter and banana. "It would be going better," I mumbled darkly, "if Master would stop holding me back."

Mace Windu frowned, "you should trust your Master's judgment, Anakin. When Obi Wan thinks you're ready for the trials, then the council will give it to you, but not before."

I snorted. "I could have passed that test five years ago! I don't think some of you know this but I'm the chosen one. I'm the special one, things are different for me. No one understands, except for Palpatine." Which is so true it's not even funny. I think all the Jedi are afraid of me, they're scared that maybe I am the chosen one. Well sorry to tell you all this but, I'm the chosen one. And not only that, but I'm not a geek like Master! There I've said it. You're a geek Master, you hear me?! A Holding back, cheesy joking, Jedi code fallowing, council worshiping, geek! Eat it!

Windu shook his head, "this is the exact reason why you haven't been given the trails, Anakin. You still don't respect your elders, and until you do, you don't meet the requirements to take the trails. A Padawan must be respecting of his elders, the council, and his master, before he can take the trails." The Potato beeped something out.

"Why should my respect for elders have anything to do with my abilities in the force!"

"You still don't understand do you? There's more to being a Jedi than force powers! If you only care about power go join the Sith, power control over all cost is what they believe in."

I was about to yell something about 'oh yeah' when Master came back in and he was holding, guess what, a plate of pink noodles. NO!


	7. The Nose Knows

A briefing on Potato's history: Darth Shmi reviewed asked about my OC character I will try to explain the origins of Potato. Number one, it's a potato. Don't ask me why, I don't know if me or my sister invented Potato, but it's here. Number two, its Anakin's rival.

History of the spud: Potato, a baked spud, from the planet Owthisishot, is Mace Windu's main apprentice. The baked spuds are a race of giant potatoes that communicate through radio waves. In order to amplify the sounds of these waves they wear tin foil hats.

Forget all that, just know the Potato is Anakin's arch nemesis. He hates it, and it's about to be given its trials, and will become a Jedi before him.

Oh and because some of that written below may make you think I'm a druggy, I just want to let you know I'm not… I scare myself writing this stuff. The closest thing I've been to taking drugs was a little 'buzz' I got from some laughing gas. So don't be scared and get turned off… It's only pasta after all.

That having been said, Anakin may continue now. Listen to his tale of woe and be mortified by its outcome. ( And don't forget to laugh, you know laughter helps you lose weight? I bet some of you are on the floor already : )

Chapter Seven: The Nose Knows 

So Master walks in carrying the plate of pink noodles. I couldn't take my eyes off them… So what if they were pink and tasted like old gym socks it didn't matter. Obi Wan made his way to our table and frowned.

"I was the last one in line again; all they had left was noodles. Why do they give us food that no creature in its right mind would eat?!"

I eyed the pasta longingly, suddenly feeling that peanut butter and banana was the most revolting sandwich in the universe.

Master sat down and raised a fork to his mouth. He sniffed the pink stands, his face twisted in disgust. "I can't eat this!" He roared against, "I think it's molded."

Mace shook his head. "No, orange is its natural color. If you heat it up it's not so bad."

All this time my hand had been creeping closer and closer to Master's plate. I got ready to pounce when Obi Wan picked up his tray and moved towards the Microwave. Curses.

I watched hypnotized, as the pasta went in. I needed noodles… I wanted noodles.. I would have sold myself to the Sith for some noodles. No one who hasn't been addicted to something can understand the uncontrollable urges, or the willing want I felt. When the plate started to heat up, and I could smell the intoxicating aroma of the noodles, I had to use all my power not to drool.

I could tell Potato and Mace were staring at me, wondering what my problem was. I wonder the same thing about them… How could they not long for pasta? It was pink pasta, but I only loved it all the more for its radiance.

Peep, went the small oven, announcing to all that its task was complete. Master moved to open the door and I had to brace myself for the heavenly aroma that penetrated the room.

The noodles and all their wonderful pinkness, dripped tantalizing moisture onto the bottom of the plate. Master wrinkled his face, and held the pasta as far away from his nose as possible.

Potato peeped franticly as the smell wafted his way, and Mace pinched his nose. But to me, to me, the aroma of the noodles was heaven and paradise all wrapped up in one.

Master took his seat and somewhat jokingly asked, "Anyone what to switch meals?"

"I do." I muttered unable to come to terms with what was happening. Obi Wan actually wanted to give up those perfect, tasty looking noodles.

"Obi Wan, I'm afraid your since of humor is rubbing off on your Padawan." Mace said not so happily, his voice winy from holding his beak. ( I'm sick of using the word Nose ) "The last thing the order needs is another cheesy joker." Everyone agrees, Master tells the dumbest, most nonsensical, jokes ever.

"I'm not joking, I'd like to switch meals, if that's alright with you Master." Okay so maybe I was respectful then, but I would have done anything to get that Pasta.

Obi Wan exchanged a look with Mace, one like he's-going-to-make-a-fool-out-of-us-again. "Alright Anakin. I'll give you the pasta, what did you bring for lunch. Please don't tell me its pastrami and whipped cream again." Potato beeped in amusement.

I cared not what he said, only what he was about to give me. "I already finished my sandwich, I have a donut, chips, and a chicken salad left." Master groaned bitterly, but he made the change.

Noodles, sweet beautiful noodles, pink wanting noodles. My hands shook violently, as I raised the fork to my mouth, made the necessary force powers and ate it.

I felt as if my life was fine, everything was going well. I took another bite and it felt like bubbles of force were all around me. Multicolored and circular. My hand stretched out, and I tried to pop one, but it remained whole and darted out of the way. I smiled at it.

An eerie feeling creeping up my spine told me I was being watched. I faced the occupants at the table; each of them was looking at me. Mace was frowning, Potato was laughing, and Master's mouth hung limply open and a clump of chicken salad fell back into the bowl. I grinned back at all of them. They were good guys, if you can look past their annoying self's.

Another fork full of pasta came to my mouth. I swallowed it hastily. I would tell you what it tastes like, but I forgot. It was good enough for me to eat the whole plate in under ten minuets.

Bubbles of force bounced over the table and drifted along lazily. I smiled as one landed on the top of Master's head. And reached up to pop it. It darted beyond my grasp and hid behind Potato. "Come back here," I called after it, "you can't hide from me, bubble thing." I leapt upon it, and the bubble split in two. I laughed, overcome by happiness and triumph.

"The boy's gone mad." Mace mumbled to Obi Wan, who was still having trouble keeping his lunch inside his mouth.

I smiled at Mace. "I'm not mad; I've never felt better in my life." I broke off in laughter. "See that bubble on Mace's head, Master? It makes him look like he still has hair." I broke down, unable to control myself, and not wanting to.

Bad move, Mace is very sensitive about his non-existent hair. Rumor has it that before his trail, Mace developed an awful case of head lice. To keep it from spreading the Jedi Council had it shaved off. That's the real reason why he's bald.

Now Mace was angry, but I didn't care. "That's funny, hu Master?"

"I don't see anything funny about it…" Obi Wan began.

"Boy," I said talking to Mace, "You should have heard the things Obi Wan said about you yesterday… He said-"

Master cut me off. "I think you need to calm down, Anakin. You're acting your shoe size again."

"Well let me tell you something," I called, hunkering down until I was at his level. "I know a secret about you that no body else knows." It began a chant, the same words were repeated over and over. Master paled.

By now there was no eating going on in the training field. All the Jedi and Padawan were gathered around our table. I had an audience. I smiled dumbly at all of them. The Jedi all frowned sternly, and most of the padawans were laughing.

"What's the secret?" Someone from the crowd asked.

Before I could tell them about Master having a crush on Shish Kabob, a voice silenced all noise in the field.

"Um, talking bad about your master, are you young Anakin?" Yoda pushed his way to the front of the herd.

My smile deepened. "I know a secret."

Seeing that I was incompetent, Yoda turned to Master. "Lost his mind, has he?"

"I really don't know, Master Yoda. He just started acting half crazed."

Yoda nodded understandingly, and moved over to me. He poked me with his cane, sniffed of me, and looked at my face. "Drunk is he." Mummers spread through the temple, Master winced as if he'd been struck. Oh yeah, and just so you should all know, a Jedi is forbidden to get drunk because like almost everything else, it leads to the dark side.

"Give him coffee, Obi Wan. Make him sober; re-teach him the laws of our ancestors regarding dirking." Yoda ordered.

Master nodded. Yoda turned to the crowd, "leave here all of us must, time to resume lessons it is." All the others began to slip away, until it was just me and master.

"I never understand you Anakin," Master muttered as he moved over to the coffee maker. "Sometimes I think you break the Jedi code purposefully."

"Oh lighten up, Master." I was happy, and I saw no reason why the rest of the universe shouldn't be.

As usual, Obi Wan ignored me. "Not only did you just disgrace me, and yourself in front of the whole temple, but you also disgraced Qui Gon. He believed in you to be a good Jedi, and you have provided him wrong." A chugging sounded as the coffee brewed.

"If you ask me, Master; you're the one who disgraced Qui Gon, you're not the best Master you know." The pasta was losing its effect.

Obi Wan poured some coffee into a mug. "A teacher should not be judged through his student's eyes." More fortune cookie ranting as usual. "Here drink this, and for force's sake get sober!"

"I hate coffee."

"There's a lot of things you hate, Anakin. Drink it."

I drank it, and felt the sense of anger and disappointment wash over me again. It was D-caf coffee.

Once I had finished three cups, Master deemed me 'sober', and we moved on to lessons. These weren't normal lessons, Yoda wanted me to re-learn the laws of drinking. Master brought down the big book of Jedi laws. There are to many laws if you ask me.

Obi Wan flipped through numerous pages of the giant book. "Here it is," He announced, "law 435644.6655. The Jedi Law regarding excessive drinking."

"This is stupid, Master." I called angrily, "I didn't drink anything."

Master frowned. "Being in denial will not help you, Anakin. It's best just to move on. Now you need to-"

"I didn't drink anything, and I'm not in denial. You were there the whole time Master. Don't you think you would have noticed if I drank anything?!"

"I was not there the whole time, I had to go get some lunch if you remember. And when I got back, that's when you started acting mad."

I sighed, as I have stated before, Master is very dense. "But it wasn't right after you came back, Master." I didn't want anyone thinking I was an alcoholic, I'd rather be known as a spaghetti eater than a drunkard.

"Yes it was, we switched lunches and that's when it started…You ate a bite of that pasta and… Good force! What's the council putting in their lunches nowadays?"

Another sigh, "Master, it's not what the council is putting in it. It's just Pasta."

"The council's pasta is off?"

"NO!" My overly dense Master, "Pasta is bad for me."

Something way far back in his brain clicked. A look of understanding came over his face, it was about time. "Noodles make you act like a loon!"

Well, I wouldn't go into all that was said then. It took me about two hours to get the message through to him. When he did finally understand training was over. My secret was out… I blame the pasta to this day, I was still under its influence when I told Obi Wan. Each day I curse myself for making that horrible mistake. But as usual, the worst was yet to come.


	8. Padme's Dinner

It has taken me longer to put up another chapter than I anticipated. So here it is, over due and yeah. Potato has officially left the story! He's gone like a freight train, gone like yesterday, gone like a soldier in the civil war bang, bang…. You get the idea.

I have no idea about the lay out of the Skywalker home… I made them have a kitchen and dinning room. Don't get mad at me, I only saw episode three once. ( hides face under handy paper sack. : )

I must thank my sister for the whole 'Padme can't cook for her life' thing. Thanks.

So, Anakin's off hiding in a closet somewhere, I have to go find him…. The story awaits…

Chapter Eight: Padme's Dinner 

I don't like to admit when I do something wrong, I hardly ever do… But I know that telling Master about my pasta addiction was a _bad _idea. Since he found out, Obi Wan's been determined to break me of my habit. Good luck to him.

Nothing he's done yet has worked. But that doesn't stop him from coming up with new plans. Even just when we left the temple after my first little run in with the pasta, he already thought he had things figured out.

"I don't believe you're addicted to noodles!" He roared in disgust, while I unlocked the speeder doors.

My craft opened with a mechanical click. "That's a harsh statement, Master. We pasta coinsures prefer the term, 'hooked on spaghetti.'" I was back to my normal self, thank the force.

"You know what I mean!" Obi Wan grumbled as he took his seat. "Why is it always my padawan?!"

"'Cause you're special." I smiled wickedly, putting the speeder into gear.

Master sighed, there's not really much you can say after a come back like that. "You need to stop, Anakin." He reasoned after a while. See what a smart mentor I have?

"Yes Master." I said like I always do when I don't really mean it. I couldn't think about giving up spaghetti, you just can't when you're in a place like that. You've had a hard life, things never go your way, there's tragedy at every turn… And then you find a way out, a single beacon of hope. Something that makes all the wrong in the universe, disappear. Something that gives life a burst of color. Something I happen to call Pasta.

Master will never understand any of that. Why? Well he's dense for the first thing… And secondly, he's never been there. But over the years I guess he has picked up a few things because he said; "I want your oath that you will never touch or eat any form of noodles again."

"Master you know my word-"

"Is good for nothing and cannot be trusted. I want your oath as a Jedi." He stared at me expectantly. I kept my face emotionless.

"You have my oath as a Jedi." I lied, turning the speeder into Padme's.

Obi Wan nodded. "I'd better. Because you know what happens when a Jedi breaks his word to the council." I knew all right, exile. It's happened to lots of guys, they read the sith code and bam! They're disowned by the Jedi order. Pleasant hu? Not that the sith care or anything, but it makes the council happy.

I got out of the speeder. "You coming in Master?" I asked jokingly. He knows me and Padme like to meet every once in a while to reminisce.

I saw Master glance up at one of the windows. He shook his head. "No. Not now, but I may stop by later."

"When Shish Kabob's not busy?" I teased.

Obi Wan frowned, "Anakin, that was a long time ago. I have emended my ways."

"Yeah right, then how come you still have her picture in your wallet, hu?"

Master felt his pocket franticly, "how do you know about that?"

Well let's see, there's over a dozen reasons that anyone with half a brain could spot from a mile away. Sometimes when he's talking the conversation just happens to slip to Padme's handmaidens, and sometimes he happens to be looking in his wallet when there's no need to, and the most telling of all, I browed his credit card once and saw her picture in there. Elementary, my dear Master. But I didn't want to tell him any of that, it would take the fun out of everything. "Just a guess." I smiled.

His frown deepened. "Does Yoda know?"

I laughed, "does Yoda know?! Does Yoda know?!"

"Does he?"

"Of course not! Yoda wouldn't know if… Well let's not go there, but he wouldn't know."

Master moved over to the diver's seat and started up the speeder. "When you talk in riddles like that it scares me." He called over his shoulder and was gone.

Yeah sure. I turned and walked into the house. A funky smell came my way the minuet I opened the door, along with a heavy cloud of black smoke.

"Hello Annie." I heard Padme's voice call from the kitchen. Oh force help us all, she's cooking again. For a while Pame's been trying out this whole 'house wife' thing. And while I appreciate the effort. She can't cook for her life.

I coughed and dunked into the kitchen. There were dirty pots and pans everywhere. Piled up in the sink, sprawled over the counters, and stacked all over the floor. Padme was standing by the stove wearing a pink apron splattered with batter, and frying what appeared to be lettuce.

"Hey," I called though the fog. "Whatchya doin'?"

She smiled. "Cooking dinner."

If your name is Obi Wan, and you are reading this now, please skip the next few paragraphs until you see your name written. Thanks.

I can write freely, freely, freely!

I kissed Padme on the top of her head. "What's for dinner?" I dared to ask.

"Salad." She announced proudly. "And I did the whole thing myself this time."

I could tell. Sometimes one of the handmaidens will help Padme make lunch. When they do that it's digestible. But at times like these, nothing in the universe will save you.

"Is something burning?" I asked refocusing on the smoke.

Padme gasp. "The dressing!" She franticly turned knobs on the stove until the black haze subsided.

There was no hope for me now. Not an ounce of it left. I could all but see my ship of redemption crashing to the ground. Padme had made her own dressing. How many times have I told her not to worry about food, and that we'd just get something out?

"Oh, the dressing almost all ruined!" Padme sighed looking into one of the pans that was caked in black goo.

I pretended to look sorry, "it is a little burnt." I acknowledged, "too bad, 'cause it looked pretty good."

Padme scraped the dressing into the lettuce pan. "Oh look Annie, it only burnt on the top! We can have homemade dressing after all!" Did I say I was doomed?

I love Padme. I'm not going to deny it. She's beautiful, and smart and beautiful, and every thing I like in a woman. But she can't cook, that's not a draw back though, she doesn't need to cook. I've tried telling her this a lot, but she never listens.

"Annie," Padme said while turning off the stove. "Will you set the table?"

I got down the cups and bowls and other stuff, and got everything ready for dinner. Soon Padme sat our meal on the table and started dishing it up. I shudder just to remember how it looked, slimy green goo covered lettuce leaves. Excuse me while I vomit.

Padme sat my bowl before me and started serving herself. One leaf went into her bowl, no more one single leaf. "I'm not very hungry," she explained. That's the whole reason why Padme still cooks. She's never tried any of the stuff she makes… So she doesn't know how it taste.

She sat down and smiled across the table at me. Worriedly I drew up my fork and glanced in the bowl. "Did you put any tomatoes in here?" I asked; they're my favorite.

"Of course I did!" Padme exclaimed hurt. "Just when they're fried, tomatoes shrink."

I found a small shriveled, slightly red thing. "Oh,- here's one."

Padme smiled encouragingly, I tried it. Good force did I ever feel sick! It tasted like, like… there is no way to describe it, but trust me you don't want it. I gripped the hand rest of my chair and swallowed forcefully. That little piece of tomato put up a big fight going down.

"Do you like it?" Padme asked, hopefully.

I don't know why but I can't say no to her. "It's great," I wheezed, "but I think it needs croutons."

"I don't have any croutons." She said disappointed, "but you may try 'improvising', I read about it in a cook book last week, if you don't have some ingredients you can substitute for other things. Like lime juice instead of lemon juice."

I nodded. And went to see what I could find in the cabinet. Nothing very promising; raisins, cereal, peanut butter, chips, and then I saw it… You guessed right if you said, Noodles.

A whole pack of shell pasta right there on the shelf. New and crisp, never before touched by human hands. My soul longed, and my hand stretched out, but I stopped it. I had given my oath as a Jedi not to touch, or eat, pasta. So what?! I asked myself, does the council really have to know? Even if Obi Wan did find out that I'd eaten it again, would he really blab and make a fool out of himself? Why was I standing here like an idiot thinking to myself when there was pasta to be eaten!

I grabbed the spaghetti, before I could change my mind and dashed back into the dinning room. Padme was still sitting down, but she wasn't eating anymore, instead she was looking at a magazine.

"Noodles?" Padme asked when she saw me sprinkling bits of pasta all over my salad.

I looked up from my bowl. "Yeah, I thought since they're crispy it may be a good substitute for croutons." She looked confused; I smiled.

I kept crumbling the shells and dropping them in, until the whole noodle bag was empty and my lettuce was covered in pasta fragments. Padme was pulling some really odd faces from the other end of the table. Grinning, I made the necessary force powers, and began to eat.

Just when I had eaten enough to start feeling good, the doorbell rang.

Cliffhanger? No it would have been way to long if I'd written anymore just now. More to come.


	9. Intervention!

I'm writing this to night. Usually I wait until I eat spaghetti, so I'm 'in the mood' when I write, but I'll make due with tacos. This chapter takes a small step away from the completely funny side of the story, and addresses it from more of a somber stance. Anyway, the doorbell just rang; I'll let Anakin continue….

Chapter Nine: Intervention! 

"I'll get it!" Padme called, running to the door. Like I was going to jump up and do it. She looked out the peephole. "Anakin! It's Obi Wan! Quick, the pictures!" O.k. master if you're looking for where you can start reading again, that's not it.

I jumped up and slammed a button on the wall. An alarm went off. Through out the house, pictures of me and Padme turned around, replacing themselves with scenes from Naboo, and Jedi fights. We were innocent. "Obi Wan's always coming around where he's not wanted." I mumbled darkly, while wolfing down the rest of my substitute croutons. That's not it either, Master.

"Anakin!" Padme rebuked me. "Be quiet he can hear you." I wish he could have, sometimes, but everyone knows Padme's apartment is sound proof. "Coming Obi Wan!" She shouted at the door. Keep scrolling down, Master.

With a quick glance over both shoulders, to make sure we hadn't forgotten something, Padme opened the door. And who else would be standing in it but my wonderful, supportive, mentor, Obi Wan Kenobi. That is it Master.

"Hello Obi Wan!" Padme called after opening the door, "won't you come in?" What kind of question is that? I never understood why people bother asking stuff like that, no duh he wants in, that's the whole reason Master came over.

He nodded, "thank you Padme, I don't mind if I do." Well I **do mind **Master, what do you think of that, hu?

While Master was coming in, he glanced around expectantly.

"She's out now." Padme told him.

"Oh," Obi Wan said, forgetting he was meant to be a Jedi. "I mean, who's out?"

Padme shook her head. "Never mind, Obi Wan. Would you like something to eat?"

"That would be nice." Padme led him over to the table, were he noticed me. "Hello Anakin." he called, "imagine running into you here."

I smiled sheepishly, "same to you."

"I'll get you some salad, Obi Wan." Padme called going into the kitchen to get another bowl.

As soon as she left, Master whispered to me. "I found out a way to cure you."

Party pooper! "Who said I need curing!" I answered raising my voice.

"Be quiet, Anakin, do you want Padme to hear?" He hissed.

I shook my head. "I don't care about anything right now Master. I just want to be left alone."

Master started at my face intently. Searching it for something. My eyes gave something away, or maybe it was the smell of my breath. "You've been at the pasta again, haven't you?!"

"I don't know what you're talking about." I hiccupped, my body jerking at it's own will. Just then, Padme returned.

"Here you are Obi Wan," she called setting the bowl before him. Master looked at his food and cringed, Padme frowned. "I know it doesn't look so pretty, but it taste fine, just ask Anakin he ate a whole bowl."

I smiled from across the table.

Padme turned to me, "Annie," she asked, "is there any more spaghetti left?" I tried to make her be quiet, pressing my finger to my lips, but she continued. "I wanted to make some noodle salad," she picked up the empty packet from the floor. "I didn't think there be any left," she sighed and walked back into the kitchen. I heard the food processor start grinding; she would be oblivious to the world for a while.

"So!" Master observed as soon as she left the room, "you've been keeping your oath, have you?!"

I broke down, it happens when you're on something. "It wasn't me!" I pleaded, "Blame the pasta!!! All I did was sit down to eat and then there weren't any croutons… I can't help myself Master… I'm a slave to my cravings! Help me Master," I pleaded, "I can't give it up!" I sobbed loudly, burying my face in my hand, crying like a drunken man.

Master shook me by the shoulders. "Get a grip on yourself, Anakin!" Although he was angry, I couldn't help but detect a note of worry in his voice. "You don't want Padme to see you like this, do you?" I regained control, hiccupping every once in a while from my still non-level head. "Now," Master began gently, "I have a way for you to get out of this…. It's the only way, one day I think you'll thank me for it…."

I nodded, too unstable for words.

"I know this is going to be hard, Anakin, but we can conquer this problem together…. The first thing we need to do is get you into a completely pasta free environment, I dare say Padme's is not the place for you to be now. The temple would be better. There I could help you keep an eye on yourself…." I lowered my head, ashamed.

Master stood up, "I'm not going to say anything about this to Padme. If you want to that is your own business. Try and sober yourself up a little, I'm going to pasta free your room…. And the rest of the academy…. I'll be back to pick you up later." He moved over to the door and left.

Curse him and his fatherly love! I hate it! Curse him and his well moving tongue too! What mess had I gotten myself into this time?! No pasta, a way out?! My peace, my happiness stricken from me! No, I condemned myself, I've only been hiding the truth, since the very start I'd noticed my weakness, realized I was having difficulties, and all the while like a child I'd been pretending I had not made a mistake, like there was nothing wrong with me. It was time I moved on, and if the force willed that it be done thought Obi Wan Kenobi then so be it. I wanted to become my normal self again.

"Annie?!" Padme called coming out of the kitchen, "where'd Obi Wan run off to?"

"The temple," I muttered, not turning around to look at her.

She picked up his bowl. "He didn't even try the salad!" Padme sighed, and then noticed my distressed face. "Annie, what's wrong?" She asked.

I turned my face from her, fighting my emotions. I felt her hands rest in my shoulders. "Was it the trails again?" She wanted to know.

"No," I called looking up at her, my face showing the misery housed inside. I took a shaky breath, "I'm having a problem…."

"The council didn't find out did they?" She asked worriedly.

"No. I'm just having some troubles…" I faced forward again, staring into space, not believing what was happening.

"With Obi Wan?" Padme wondered.

"No." I wish it were that simple.

Sarcasm crept into her voice, "you're not going to make me guess, are you?"

I shook my head, and stood up. "I can't tell you Padme, I just… I need some help, Obi Wan's going to help me…" My voice trailed off, as I gazed down into her curious, and worried, face.

"Well," she replied after a while, "if anyone can help you, it should be Obi Wan."

I smiled weakly, "I knew you'd understand… I don't know how long it's going to take for Master to help me fully, but until then I'll be thinking of you waiting for me at home… That should be the greatest help." We hugged, and all the cares in the world melted away, in my mind's eye I was already cured, back home. Ever since that one-day on Tatoonie, Me and Padme always have been 'good friends'.


	10. Mission Impossible

Note on the text: Well, here I am again… Writing about pasta and Anakin… That's about it… reviews anyone? (Please review! come on give! - at least 30 people are reading this… One of you has to want to say something!!!!! ) Also note: I am writing this while suffering from a fever, so if things sound odd, remember, I'm sick.

Chapter Ten: Mission Impossible

As I said before, Master hasn't succeeded in his quest to cure me… He tries… more than he needs to… but nothing's happened yet. If Spaghetti wasn't so golden and delicious, maybe he would have gotten somewhere.

Master came over to Padme's and picked me up, as I climbed into the speeder, he started lecturing again. "I never thought you would submit to anything, Anakin." He began, "in all my years as your mentor I've never seen you defeated the way you are now. There's only one way to get out of this mess, and that's by going cold turkey."

"Cold turkey?!" I echoed, horrified. For any of you out there who don't know, cold turkey means, all in. As in I can't eat pasta again. "You know what Master, I'm not sure I'm ready for this yet… Maybe later." And I started climbing out of the speeder.

He pulled me back in. "Oh no you don't. Come on Anakin, think! Don't you see how enslaved you are already?!"

Me, a slave to pasta?! No, that couldn't be true… It just helped me…. Made me feel good… act like an idiot… scare Padme… make Obi Wan ashamed… all right, so maybe I was a little bit under it's control. Just a little. "So Master, go ahead and drive to the temple, and let's get this thing over with."

"Good for you, Anakin!" Good for me… yeah right, this whole idea was so not good for me at all. But I'll leave that for later.

When we got to the temple, I found out what Master had meant by pasta proofing everything. The lunchroom was under strict supervision, all food brought in was checked and purified before it came near the training room. My own room had under gone it's own renovations… the kitchen had been sealed off, the sofa vacuumed, and the rug shampooed; Obi Wan wasn't taking any chances.

"From now on," he called happily, "you're in a pasta free environment!"

"Thanks allot Master," I mumbled darkly, I could already tell I was going to enjoy this.

I sat on the floor and started turning on my halo screen, Obi Wan beat me to it, pulling a rolling canvas in front of my line of vision. I sighed as he ran behind the sofa and started up a camera…. Good, old-fashioned Master.

"Now Anakin, I want you to pay attention to this," he announced while shutting off the lights.

It started with a clip I had never expected to see in my mentor's possession. It was a picture with him and Shish Kabob, at the beach.

"Master?" I asked grinning evilly.

Quickly the changed the reel, "where did that come from?" He asked rhetorically. "Here's the right one, pay attention to this one Anakin."

I yawned. "Can I have some popcorn?" I asked.

"Shhhhhhh!" my teacher rebuked. "Just watch the screen."

"Then can I have some popcorn?"

"Would you please just shut up?! It's starting."

The screen shone in white light, as flimsy number began going from five to one. "Drugs and why they're bad for you!" A background voice announced as the focus came to a group of Padawan. "Drugs may look cool, but in reality they destroy the body." It showed a short clip of a guy hacking it up, the life forms around him drew back.

"This is very educational, Master." I muttered darkly.

Obi Wan's eyes were glued to the screen; he didn't watch the tube very much. "Hush." He ordered absently.

I sighed and turned back to the screen.

"Once or twice you may be offered to take drugs." the background guy continued, One of the students in the picture offered a death stick to another. It was repulsed. "Remember, it's never wrong to say no to drugs."

"Hey," I commented to Master, "the death stick guy looks just like, Master Yoda!"

Obi Wan shot me a harsh stare, "Anakin."

"He does! Look at the pointy ears, and the green skin… It's Yoda, Master."

"Just be quiet and watch the movie!"

All right, I was watching. "Drugs are dangerous because they harm the body and mind of those who use them." The camera focused on a guy who was out of it and struggling to come up with the answer to 'one plus one'. Then it showed a Gungan getting run over.

I laughed. "Reminds me of JarJar when he came to Tatoonie."

"Anakin! Watch the movie, and try to get something out of it."

The background voice continued. "But if you are foolish enough to take drugs, there is hope. Numerous rehabilitation centers have been set up all over the galaxy. There are also many Anonymous groups, see to it that you are enrolled in one of these facilities if you are a substance abuser. And remember, Drugs don't pay."

"Neither does talking in an annoying load voice, and pretending to be a know it all!" I yelled at the fading picture.

Obi Wan stood up and turned the lights back on. "See Anakin, your addiction to Pasta is as bad as drug addictions."

"It is not!" I shouted while moving the canvas, "I know what one plus one is, O.K? And I haven't been run over since I started eating spaghetti."

Master wasn't impressed, "oh really, so please tell me what one plus one is?"

"It's eleven, any dummy knows that!" I'm not going to write anymore of that conversation, I have a right not to self-incriminate.

Pretty soon, I started wanting some pasta again, watching all those people take drugs on master's movie made me hungry. At first, I tried to ignore the longing sensation the crept up my stomach, but I soon gave in. Master had gone out to pasta proof the council hall. There had to be something he'd overlooked when cleaning my room.

I looked under the couch. Nope, darn him! I looked in the cushions, though I knew he'd vacuumed out the whole thing. There had to be some pasta somewhere! I checked the bathroom, the bedroom, and even lifted up the T.V to check under it.

The doorbell rang, sighing I walked into the living room and opened the door. It was Mace Windu.

"Hello Anakin," He began, "I'm looking for Obi Wan, Have you seen him?"

"He's down by the council, why?"

Mace held up a paper bag, "he asked me to pick up some lunch for him, I'll go give it to him."

I was about to send him off, when I noticed the writing on the bag. 'Tony's Spaghetti Palace' it read. "Uh, never mind about taking it to him Master Windu, I remember now, he said if you came by you were supposed to leave his lunch here."

Mace handed me the bag. "Remind him to pay me tomorrow,"

"Sure, sure, whatever…" I mumbled, closing the door in his face. Pasta! Creamy Pasta, thank the force it was mine again! I tore the rapper apart, and was about to dig in when there was another knock at the door. Sigh.

Obi Wan pushed his way into the room. "Hello Anakin, I'm back!"

I hid the spaghetti under the coach. "Hey master." Darn him!

"The whole building is now clean of any noodles, what so ever. I even scrubbed the stove." Did I already say darn him?! "Did Mace stop over here while I was gone?"

"Mace? Uh, no I don't think so…." Lie, lie for the good of the pasta!

"That's odd," Master muttered thoughtfully, "oh well, maybe he forgot today it was his turn to buy lunch."

"Maybe. So uh Master, aren't we going to go train?"

Obi Wan frowned, "really Anakin, I don't think you're in any condition to train…"

"Please?" I had to get him out of the room before he smelled the noodles.

"I guess I really can't say no… You usually hate to train… Maybe the pasta isn't all that bad for you." He joked while opening the door.

I shot the sofa one last glance. "Yeah, maybe it's not."


	11. Public Humiliation

O.k. this is one of the last chapters…. The whole thing is coming to a close. I would like to think Darth Shmi and I'm wondering if the rest of you people like this story, or after Potato came in did you all just not care? Never mind. Anyway, enjoy.

Chapter 11: Public Humiliation

I spent the whole rest of the day training with Master. It wasn't easy either, it's hard work trying to use force powers when you've been drugged. Though I tried hard, even Obi Wan knew it was time to call it an early night.

"Well Anakin," He said after watching me stagger and fall again, "I think we've had enough training for today, you're dismissed."

I wasn't feeling so well, and left without the customary bowing. Master understood. "Remember Anakin," He told me, "we're in this together, if you need support, or anything. You have my number, I'll leave my comlink on."

We parted ways. I thought I would feel happy at the day's end, but now not even the thought my hidden Pasta cheered me. I entered my room and closed the door hurriedly. The smell of hour old pasta wafted into my nose.

There was hope, there always was. I took the takeout bag from under the sofa, and gently pulled back the rapper. Spaghetti…. My Spaghetti…. How I longed to eat from it. But no, I could not. I was bound by my oath as a Jedi not to even touch the tantalizing long, heavenly strips.

"Be gone dreaded long pasta!" I roared tossing my hope into the first trashcan I pasted, "I won't give in to my heartless cravings!" O.K. Master if you're reading this now, I just want you to see how hard I've been trying, it's not all one sided like you think it is.

I felt a huge weight removed from my shoulders, I had done it! I'd concurred my addiction! Without the use of rehab or support groups, I was free!

Smiling proudly, I plopped down on the couch, and turned on the set. All went well as I watched a thrilling episode of The One Who Makes It Back, which is by far, the universes' greatest reality show ever. I hardly even felt an urge. The commercials started, I rolled over to find a better position, and then I smelled it. The sweet aroma of noodles still clung to my sofa.

I glanced at the trashcan. No, I told myself, don't give in. Sighing, I gritted my teeth, and watched the television.

"Hey kids, it's seven in the afternoon, do you know what that means?" A background voice asked. At least twenty kids under ten answered him, "it's time for Meatball and Spaghetti Show!"

"That's right!" The voice called, "Oh…. Who lives in the disposal under the sink?"

"Meatball and Spaghetti!" The kids called.

I blinked several times to make sure I wasn't dreaming. Could it be?! A whole hour dedicated to my favorite snack food?! Yes it was!

As the show progressed, my brain was sucked in. It was beautiful, the main character, Spaghetti, worked in a restaurant flipping hamburgers. While his friend, was a stupid meatball hippie thing. I cried it was so true. I saw myself paralleled with it, I was Spaghetti and Master was Meatball…….

The smell of the pasta from the cushions added to the effect. I sat down while watching the show and personally sent a letter of gratitude to the shows creators. I saw the truth now, I could not give up Spaghetti, for I was spaghetti.

I ran to the trashcan, and removed the old lunch and prepared to eat it. Just then, guess what? the phone rang.

"Hello," the voice on the other end called, it was Master. "How are you doing, Anakin?"

"Don't bother me now, Master. I'm busy."

"Why's your voice sound so funny? You haven't been hanging around with Sith again, have you?"

"Meatball," I said eating the pasta, "there comes a time in every Spaghetti's life when he wants to be left alone. I have reached that point."

I could all but see Meatball's confused face, "You've reached a what?" He asked worriedly.

"A point." I replied. "A point of no return, don't try to contact me… I am unavailable, gone out, not home, out." I hiccupped over the line.

"Anakin? Is that Pasta I smell on your breath?" Well, he said something like that.

"Uh, on me, no I don't think so." I covered my mouth with my hand, "maybe you're smelling Mace. I mean he did have pasta for lunch."

"He did?! How do you know what Mace had for lunch?"

Curse my easy moving tongue! "Uh, I, saw it though the force. You don't sound so happy Master, I think everyone should be happy, sing with me! 'Who lives in a disposal under the sink? Meatball and Spaghet- You're not singing Master. Master?" There was no response on the other line, I felt forceful hands prying the pasta from my grasp.

"Anakin!" Master called from beside me, "you should be ashamed of yourself!"

No! What was he doing here?! "How did you get in here?" I asked trying in vain to keep my food. It was no use, I was under the pasta's spell…

"You forgot to lock the door," he replied taking the spaghetti from my hands, "in your delusional state, I'm not surprised you forgot!" Hurriedly, he opened the window and tossed my food out.

I ran towards it and just managed to catch a glance of it tumbling into oblivion. "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I called after the pasta, stretching my hand out towards it. "Spaghetti!"

With a defeated sob; I fell to the floor, there was no hope.

"Anakin," Obi Wan began putting the phone on the hook, "I think it's time that we told the council about your problem…."

"No, No Master you can't! They'll, they'll, they'll send me to a shrink!" 

My mentor looked at me sternly, "they will not, in all my years working with the council I've never seen them send one person to a shrink. It's not the Jedi way."

"They'll put me in Master Kamoo's substance abuse classes, and I don't like him. He looks like a giant fish… He scares me, Master!"

"I never knew Master Kamoo taught classes, anyway a class maybe the very place you need to be, I'll call him up…"

I fell to my knees and clasp my hands before him, "No!" I begged my executioner, "Don't make me go, I'll be good now I promise!"

He took pity on me, "I'm sorry, Anakin," something bad was coming I could tell, "but I've tried everything I can too help you, I see now that we need to seek help from someone higher. Come," He held out a hand to me.

"Where are we going?" I asked, standing up and wiping my face.

"To Yoda, he'll know what to do."

"Yoda!" Laundry duty for a year flashed before my eyes. "Master you can't tell him!"

"I see no other option, come." And he drug me to the council. Lots of Jedi and Padawan stopped to stare, I was sure they had never seen a master pulling his half conscious student around the temple.

When we arrived at the council, only Yoda was there. I mean the guy never leaves, I think he lives in his seat.

"Um," Yoda mumbled while shelling a peanut, "come to ask for guidance have you?"

Master ducked his head, "yes Master Yoda, we have a problem that needs solving."

"Um, Continue, Obi Wan."

I saw Master's hesitation, "it's about Anakin," he began, I felt my head lower in shame. "He's," my mentor searched for the right words, "he's, he's doing something he shouldn't be and well, it's conflicting with his training, and life as My padawan."

Yoda nodded his head wisely, " Understand the pain you must be facing, Obi Wan, I do. Hard to train a wayward Padawan is, what have to say do you Anakin? Um, guilty are you?"

Master began to say something about me being not in my right mind, but Yoda shushed him. "Let the boy speak you must."

"I'm trying Master Yoda," I started out, "I meant no pain to my master, but I wanted… I felt, I'm sorry Master Yoda." I bowed my head again.

"Try you do, Anakin. Training progressing daily, why need other support do you? Unsure of yourself are you?" I said nothing, so Yoda turned to Master, "Peanut you want?" He asked holding up one for inspection, Obi Wan shook his head. "Done the right thing you have, by coming to me, Obi Wan. Painful this is, so problem you need not tell me. Tomorrow night, come to my dinner party you will, discuss more there, understand each other better. Now sleep, for tomorrow brings change."

Master nodded and pulled me out of the council hall.


	12. Excuses, Excuses

Hey everyone, here's the next chapter, hope you like it-OyNebach42

Chapter 12: Excuses, Excuses

So, I'm not going into what happened the next morning. It wasn't anything important really. Nothing special happened, until nightfall.

Master came to get me before the Party. To tell you the truth, I didn't feel like running out and eating with the council. I was having Pasta withdraws, and all I wanted to do was sit on the sofa and chill. But Yoda was expecting me.

"Come on, Anakin!" Obi Wan called, dragging me to my feet, "the sooner we get this over with, the sooner we can come back."

I sighed, "I don't feel well, Master."

"It's because you haven't eaten at all today! You didn't even touch the soup I had sent over."

"It smelled funny," I grumbled, "Master, I don't know how you'd expect me to eat anything that smelled like fingernail polish!"

Obi Wan frowned, "we need to cure your addiction. Let's go."

Sighing, I stood up and walked to the door. Obi Wan stared at me blankly, "Anakin, where's your tie?"

I looked down and noticed I'd forgotten my red tie. The whole things stupid if you ask me, but whenever there's a dinner party, all the Jedi have to 'dress up' and wear ties.

"Can't I go without it?" I begged Master, "Just this once?"

He wouldn't hear of it, "Let's not start breaking traditions, my young Padawan." He handed me a red silk tie.

What's even stupider about this whole dressing up thing, is that the ties aren't high quality. There already formed with a little plastic clasp on the backs of them so you can clip them on to your robe. I stuck mine on angrily.

"It's crocked," Master rebuked, reaching up a hand to sort out my tie.

I straightened it out with a rough swipe. "O.K. Let's go." I called over my shoulder as I opened the door. Obi Wan sighed and followed me out.

Of course we were early, no one was there but Yoda and Mace.

"Good evening, Obi Wan, Anakin," Mace greeted us at the door, casting me a suspicious glance. I smiled, and Master rolled his eyes.

Contrary to popular belief, Yoda's house is quite large, even a Kalmonian wouldn't have to duck when going trough the door. Mace led me an Master into the living room, "You'll have to excuse the state of things," he said, clearing some party hats off two chairs, "we haven't finished in the kitchen."

Obi Wan said something about that being fine, and I shrugged.

At once, Mace started chatting with Master about the most boring topic in the universe, Potato.

"Where is he?" Obi Wan asked, looking about himself.

Mace frowned, "didn't you hear?"

"Hear what?"

"There was an accident during his trails, Potato fell into the fire pit."

"Oh good force! Is he alright?"

Mace shook his head worriedly, "the medics don't know yet, he was burnt pretty bad."

I smiled, "I guess now he really is a 'baked spud!" I cackled, but stooped hurriedly when I noticed none of the others were joining me.

"Anakin!" Master hissed, casting me a disapproving look. "That was extremely unkind!"

"How come when ever you make a joke it's funny, but when I make one it's unkind?!" I mumbled back.

Master apologized for me, but Mace just shook his head. They started talking about Sith, and politics and everything else that gets extremely boring after awhile. I sat and tried to look interested, but it was a fruitless battle. I started twiddling my thumbs, after I got tried of that I make bunny ears over Master's head for a while, but that wasn't fun because no one noticed. So in my moment of desperation my finger found its way into my nose.

Don't tell me you've never done it, because I know you have. Everybody picks their nose every once in a while. Mining ones nose can be a very distractive thing, especially when you've got a big one you just can't get out. I had no idea Mace and Obi Wan were staring at me, until Mace said, "What do you think, Anakin?"

The finger retreated behind my back, "uh I can't really say, I mean can the view of an apprentice truly differ from that of his Master? I'm with what Obi Wan said."

"So you also think you need more time before the trials, you're a very sensible Padawan, Anakin, The council was going to give them to you tomorrow, but if you want it later…" And they began talking of other things.

I hate you Master! I made my hand into a fist to strike him, but immediately stopped, there was something sticky on my finger. I held it up for inspection, a small green blobby mass, perched on my fingertip. Ut Oh, I had a bugger. I tried to rub it between my fingers to dislodge it, to no avail. I looked around for a likely place to put it, a steel figure of Yoda stood behind me on a low table. Quickly, I rubbed it on his head, and the bugger came off.

I sighed and returned to the conversation, only to fine Master's frown waiting for me.

Yoda came into the room, burdened under the weight of a large glass bowl. "Um, good evening, Obi Wan and Anakin, early are you."

"Well, we just thought we'd drop by before the party started, maybe help you with some things." Master began.

"No help need I now, all cooking done." He sat the bowl on a coffee table before Me and Obi Wan.

Master wanted to complement something; he looked at the decorations and changed his mind, instead studying the bowl. "What unique refreshments, Master Yoda, they almost look like….." Obi Wan paused in horror, "...Pasta." He choked out.

"Yes, out of nuts was I, thought next best thing pasta be." He picked up a piece and crunched it loudly.

I smiled happily, and reached out a quivering hand, Master struck it. "Anakin."

Yoda didn't notice any of this and moved over to a wall where there were banners in need of hanging up.

Just me, Master and Mace, if I could only get them to look the other way. "Masters," I began, "I think your shoes are untied." They bent down and I swallowed all the pasta quickly.

"I'm wearing boots, Anakin." Mace muttered angrily, resuming his position.

"So am I," Master called.

"Oh yeah," I mumbled, "maybe it was the light." Mace narrowed his eyes.

Just then, Obi Wan noticed the empty bowl. "Did you have to eat all the pasta?" He asked Mace angrily.

"It wasn't me!"

"Sure it wasn't," my Master exclaimed sarcastically, he wouldn't think of accusing me, because who would ever think I was the one eating all the Spaghetti?

Obi Wan took the bowl into the kitchen and refilled it, "This time," he warned Mace, "Don't eat it until the other Jedi get here."

"But I-" Mace started, Master shook his head and left it at that. I don't know what it is about Obi Wan, but he thinks he can criticize everyone! According to my mentor, he's the only sane one left in the world. Just shows you how wrong some people can be.

I eyed the pasta slyly. _Don't do it _I told myself _you've already had a whole bowel! _But it was no use, I'd jumped over the point of no return. "Don't look now," I told the two Jedi Masters seated beside me, "But isn't that Shish Kabob and Ozra Windhair, outside?" They both ran to look out the window, and I finished off he Spaghetti once again.

When they returned, Mace found the bowl quite empty. "Obi Wan, I've never seen you that hungry." He said darkly, heading to the kitchen for a refill.

"Me?" Master shouted in shock, "I didn't-"

"The code says a Jedi must tell the truth at all times, Obi Wan." Mace pointed out returning the bowl to the table, "now you must take this lesson to heart."

Two bowls of dry spaghetti is more than enough for any man. But I guess maybe it's because I'm special, lately I've had to eat more and more noodles to get the right effect. I was feeling good then, but a little more couldn't hurt.

"Hey Master," I said thoughtfully, "Do you hear the doorbell?"

Mace sighed, "most likely its Kamoo again, he's never invited to any of these parties and simply shows up…. Every year the same thing, 'I know you must have lost my invitation in the mail…' Well I'll tell you what I'm about to lose!"

"Calm down, Mace. I'll help you deal with him." And the two Jedi walked away.

I was just crunching the last piece of my noodles when they returned. "Padawan pranks," Master Windu observed hot-tempered, while retuning to his seat. Master nodded and reached out a hand to take some Pasta; of course, he found none.

"Mace!"

"It wasn't me this time!"

"The It must have been," I could feel my heart pounding in my ears, waiting for Master to call my name, "Yoda!"

They turned to Master Yoda and began calling him out, and telling my how awful he was. I smiled. Clean as a whistle.

Yoda said it wasn't him, and no one believed him, so he went and refilled the bowl. Then he returned to decorating.

I was up the creak then, because I couldn't think of any more excuses. But Master and Mace took care of this one for me.

"Come on Mace," Obi Wan said, "I think maybe we should go help Yoda."

Master Windu didn't agree. "He likes to do things alone."

Nodding his head towards me, Master explained his true motive. Windu understood. Together, they got up and left.

I tried to restrain myself, I honest to goodness did, but it was no use. The next thing I knew I was licking the bowl, and Mace had one of my arms and Master had the other. "Aha!" Both cried.

My life was melting.

"I should have known." Obi Wan muttered.

Melting.

"So that's the problem!" Mace exclaimed, "I thought it was something to do with Pasta all along."

Oh, what a universe what a universe!

"Who told you?" Master wanted to know.

"No one, I just guessed."

"It was Yoda, wasn't it?"

Who would have thought a dense Master like you could spoil my wonderful Spaghetti!

"O.k. SO maybe Yoda had something to do with it."

Here I go!!!!!


	13. Chapter The Last: Summing It All Up

Here is the last chapter everyone, I know it ended too soon. But let not your hearts be filled with sorrow, for I am already plotting a new story… Thank you all for reading and reviewing, it meant a lot to me. Anyway, moving right along, here's Anakin.-OyNebach42

Chapter The Last: Summing It All Up

So that's it, really. There's no more to tell, Mace told the council about my problem, and they were going to throw me out. But Obi Wan stuck up for me. He told them that he would strighten me out….. That hasn't happened yet, but he's still hopeful.

I have been in this losy 'support' group for over two months now, and am ready to scream. I can hardly take it anymore! Not that I haven't stopped eating pasta, I have for the most part. But now I also smoke, bite my nails, and curse. So tell me Master, did it work?

The only good thing about my group is, I'm not alone. Palpatine is also a member, he suffers from arachnophobia, don't ask. He's a great guy, I wish he was a Jedi, and that I was his apprentice instead of Master's. I mean the guy just understands everything!

"Don't worry, Anakin," he tells me, "someday soon you'll be the greatest Jedi in the universe. And no one will care what you were addicted too." Then he slips me a noodle.

I grab the spaghetti and mutter, "not soon enough," Palpatine only smiles.

So there it is, that's were I am now. Having read this, you must see how hard it is to be me. But as Master says I must rise to the acasion or something like that.

I'm going to have a smoke, and find a pencil that's not all chewed up.

Signed,

Anakin Skywalker, future great Jedi. Now smoker, chronic chewer, and pasta adorer.


End file.
